A very silent anniversary

So our 3rd anniversary came and went. Whoop whoop!

And as hard as it was for Paulina to come home from nightshifts and fall fast asleep without even spending a moment together, we were just as grateful to reflect on that we are happily together and our anniversary last year was one that we would never forget!

Buying expensive gifts or flowers, comparison and judgment, confusion whether what you’re getting is good enough, ‘will they like it?’, and the spiral of feelings whether what your loved ones are expecting of you on your special anniversary isn’t something we experienced this time nor last.

Our 3rd anniversary happened to be a quiet one since we were on opposite sleep shifts but so was our 2nd anniversary.

Because you see, at the beginning of our trip we spent our two year anniversary, in complete noble silence…

At a meditation facility in Indonesia…

Abstaining from killing even the tiniest of beings like mosquitos, eating vegetarian, no sexual activity (even with yourself)…

With not even an exchange of words “Whoop whoop, we’ve made it this far!”

But that space and quiet made us so grateful for each others company and really highlighted that no gift could equate to quality time spent together.

You should’ve seen us after the ten days when we could finally make eye contact and talk to each other again. We were so excited to just smell each other and touch our hands, to laugh and giggle and tell each other about our last ten enlightening days.

So here’s a mind blowing explanation of what we actually did on this anniversary of ours.  We woke up to a 4 AM gong daily, then sat in meditation pose for 11 out of our 18 awake hours “aiming for the total eradication of mental impurities and the resultant highest happiness of full liberation.”

Sounds gimmicky eh?

But the technique was an observation and self-exploratory experience, a type of mental training.  Just as we use physical exercises to improve our bodily health, Vipassana can be used to develop a healthy mind.

The noble silence meant silence of body, speech and mind. Any form of communication was prohibited whether it be gestures, sign language, written notes, eye contact, etc.  This was so that we truly had a “self” practice with ourselves and didn’t compare our experience with others, which could create feelings of craving or loathing.

Can you imagine an isolated retreat center where all you see is other people’s feet or the back of their heads for ten days straight.  It’s hard for us to imagine but we did it and loved it! Here’s a few things we learned:

1. Nothing lasts forever.  Not that pain in your knee, that itch on your nose, those thoughts in your head, that heavy feeling on your heart.
2. Wisdom is to be experienced not told so nothing we tell you in this blog post will equate to what you will learn from the experience yourself.
3. You are not that important.  Well, maybe you are to someone but if you ever let your ego get ahead of yourself just take a look up at the stars to sense that we are just a tiny piece of this gazillion piece puzzle.
4. Jokes are the foundation for shared experience and although nothing was said during those ten silent days, our evenings when we laughed at the wise words of S.N.Goenka brought our whole group together through the vibrations of our laughs.
5. We can adapt to anything! Even to waking up at 4 AM, eating purely vegetarian, becoming friends with bugs and finding peace through meditation.

One of greatest concepts we loved was that we didn’t even pay for the ten-day course!  Our course was paid for through the generosity of past students and in the future, if we want to pay it forward, we could donate for future students, so that others may also benefit from Vipassana.

Definitely fit the budget at the time!

Although it may not be for everyone and most people probably wouldn’t choose to spend their anniversary this way it was truly one of the highlights of our trip and we would most definitely spend another ten days in silence through Vipassana.

So if you want some more info check out the Dhamma Vipassana main page.

Or check out our friends Any Zebula’s point of view on the whole experience.

We’ve had an awesome ride over the course of our relationship.  And we’ve survived through a lot to write about it today.  Not bad for just a few years together and we can’t wait to see what future anniversaries bring!

Cheers to three years!