What kind of couples do you hang out with?
American entrepreneur, author and motivational speaker, Jim Rohn, once said
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
And on a podcast of ‘I Love Marketing,’ with Dan Sullivan from Strategic Coach, Dan said
“Who you are today is a function of the books you read and the people you hang out with.”
Around the globe, many of the successful and motivational speakers would agree that you’re environmental conditions can greatly influence your present and future being, and research has proved the same. The people you surround yourself with – your family, friends, spouse, mentors, coaches – need to challenge you and inspire you to be the best version of yourself. You need to pick the good ones to surround yourself with so you can bring up your own average.
So there’s that question that we hear over and over again asking, who are the five people you spend the most time with? Those are the ones you will be most like because ‘birds of a feather flock together.’
But have you ever asked yourself who are the five couples you spend the most time with and will your relationship be the average of those five couples?
Do you think that those relationships around you affect you and your spouse’s energy? Do you have great things to say about those relationships? Maybe they say loving words – “they’re so supportive,” “she’s his biggest cheerleader,” “he gives her the time she needs to be alone” – there are so many qualities in relationships that you could admire!
But if you don’t admire those couples and you walk away thinking – “man they’re messed,” “too much drama,” “my liver hurts” or “I wouldn’t trust him one bit.” Do you think that’s a good couple to be around? Do you think they’re vibes and actions may even rub off on you and your partner if you spend a lot of time with them?
The answer is YES! That couple that is your favorite drinking buddies may always be your favorite drinking buddies, but the only thing you will be improving in yourself is length of your hangovers. The couple who’s always fighting in front of you and attracting drama will only be improving (if they’re lucky) their chances to get on reality TV. That couple that’s always keeping up with the Jones’ and making you feel like you’re always one step behind will always be running in the same rat race.
It’s OKAY to have friends and couples who have their faults or who you don’t necessarily aspire to be like because no relationship is flawless. It’s OKAY to have ups and downs in relationships, good times and bad, but just be wary of how much time you spend with the people who have more bads than goods – more negative things to bring to the table than positive. It’s also OKAY to take a step back and look at the environment you’ve put yourself in and if it’s conducive to the type of relationship you want.
So we ask you to reflect, if the couples you surround yourself with aren’t first class or even economy seating but they’re the ones boarding the plane closest to the toilet with no leg space, no reclining chair and complaining the whole way. They’re the ones who happen to be sitting in the shittiest spot on the plane and you’ve found yourself sitting in the seat ahead of them. Is it okay to move? To maybe separate yourself so you don’t have to listen to the complaining and feel the negativity for the whole ride. We’d like to think yes!
In certain places in the world, people are so protective of their properties and put high fences up so nobody can even come close to their “home”. It’s only the ones who are accepted that can come in and be on your lawn or in your house. People will actual defend their right and exercise it by threatening another to leave immediately; a sense of intolerance. This same kind of fence does not exist in most of our lives when it comes to the people we allow in to our personal worlds. We keep bad friendships because of guilt, hang around others we feel bring us down, and find ourselves in the same loop over and over again. A way to apply having the right people in your life is to put up your fence, be protective of your home. You are the king of your castle so why put up with unwelcome visitors. Remove the bad poison’s, be stern on who you want in your life. Because in a few years you will be the reflection of the company you keep.
Thank you to some of the awesome couples we’ve surrounded ourselves with before our big gap year and during our gap year. The old, wise-beyond-their-years ones and the young, still discovering couples. You’re pretty darn awesome and thanks for bringing up our average.
Cheers to a few of our favorite and newly married couples we’ve met on our gap year:
On a closing note, since we talked about the five people and five couples you surround yourself with, we’d like to recommend a book we really enjoyed on the Five Love Languages. If you follow the link you can do a quick test to determine what your love languages are and have your spouse, friends, and family do it too. These love languages can help you in your various relationships to show others how you love and to understand how others want to be loved. So what are your love languages: acts of service, quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation or receiving gifts? Find out here:
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